Know When To Walk Away, Know When To Run

When you challenge the status quo, it’s inevitable that people get defensive and come for you online.

Last year, it happened on Twitter when I expressed a dissenting opinion. Although the person I was chatting with had a history of being open to discussion, on that day, they chose to shut me down and attack my credibility.

I stopped engaging and even muted the profile.

It’s happened a few times this year on LinkedIn too.

Talk poppy syndrome in action.

Shame is the weapon of choice.

I find it fascinating that what all of these people have in common is a focus on people-centred leadership, resilience, empathy and difficult conversations.

It damages trust.

I believe what you do, not what you say.

A lesson I have to keep learning is that when people show you who they are, believe them. Maya Angelou had it right - the quote actually says: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

The first time is my downfall.

The hardest thing is accepting people for who they really are and not who you want them to be.

Resilience in the face of disrespect does not build great relationships.

If you come for me, expect that I will stop engaging with you.

I have no problem with difficult conversations that lead to learning but I will not devote any energy to attempts to undermine my credibility, knowledge or achievements.

I have to wonder if the reason they try is to silence my voice.

Not a fan.

A good chunk of my time in corporate involved being silenced and shamed. I can spot patronizing comments in a heartbeat.

The key is recognizing the truth in the situation and not responding to the triggers.

Meditation has helped me develop this aspect of my leadership.

It used to be my reality that I had to tolerate clients who treated me with disrespect. It’s entirely possible for me to carry a relationship for years. It’s a point of pride that I have a recommendation letter from the most toxic client I ever worked with but I keep it to remind me that while it’s possible, it’s exactly what I don’t need.

It’s not good for me and I don’t want to do that anymore.

Especially not for free on social media.

I don’t need to win the argument.

I don’t need to prove myself.

Walking away is a gift -

to myself.